1st

the world being silence when i feel so lonely. i walked into the bridge, saw the moon in the mirror of river, they flowed slowly. i can hear the tumult from the town.

disgusting that's what i was thinking, i don't know what I'm going to do but i still decide to look around, what the plans of god to me?
the wind whispered slowly in the tree, the tree feel amused till they are shaking

decided to to get some food in the town.

i book a sandwich and a glass of beer, i wish i could drunk. but in the fact, i definitely not.

heard everybody laughing but nobody want me to having fun with them, some people kissing without my permission, why everybody doing that but i am not?

after finished my food, i saw an angel. she has a brown hair, loose in her back. she use the black coat and blue jeans. simple!!! that's the 1st word i can described her.
she come and fall in front of my desk, her bag throwed up, coin, comb, glasses, wallet and pen. in everywhere.
i helped her gather it, i heard the sound . the sound of pain. n it's from her.
"are you ok?"
"yeah, just............................"(she cut it)
"thank you"she continued
"your wellcome"

i back to my desk and she go to book a food or drink, i dont know.

i see the card sprawled in the floor.

i put it and see the picture of her, her name is bella.
"bella?"
"ya" she look around, and find the source. that's from me.
i dont wanna be speechless so i say"i think it's your card"
she comes to me"yeah, it's . thank you so much. i really owe you, eh..."
"fikri." explain
"ok fikri, thanks a lot. i really owe you. if you come to flook streat dont forget come to my restaurant, it's the best restaurant in there, the name is d'cost"
"i'll keep it, haha."
"i'm in hurry, fikri. so see ya."
"see ya"

i see her back until she outs.
i decided to back home too. but i cant cleared my mind, just her in my head. "BELLA"

you are perfect, dear.

'perfect', i believe everybody ever had a period where they feel not confident, feel that they self is nothing compared by the other. 


but i think it doesn't matter, because of that reason i think we will get up . 


i have a lot of friend who feel like that they feel so fool/poor, they think who are they?, they think why GOD didn't revoke their life? 

i feel so sad when i heard that, but i think GOD must have the good way for them even though it'll be long, but i believe GOD will.


and GOD has answered that, my friend called 'indi' and 'jimmy'.
my friend 'indi' is scolioser(term for someone with scoliosis)  and she has a great experience (her ex. passed away because HIV, she found her best friend, a good doctor )  do i have to explain what scoliosis is? scoliosis is a medical condition in which a person's spine is curved from side to side and it's forever. my knowledge about scoliosis just like that. 
but now she has fiance who accept everything bout her, the great family and friend, and her lovely job, author. 

and don't forget bout 'jimmy'


my friend 'jimmy' has a leukemia since he was 13. do u know how he felt? he felt like wanna die. but he got a support from his parent and friend to get a medicine. (honestly i don't know very much bout his experience because he spent his life with medicine in Spanish), and now he free without his leukemia and he has become a business man.
he ever say that "don't stop believe to miracle."


so what do you think bout that case? 
don't ever think that you are nothing or not perfect even you had deficiency .  cause you are perfect and valuable and special with your deficiency.

an advice from my pa

the time is something which unpredictable.

i went to the mansion(the club in bandung), i've got drunk cause i have a pressuare from my da and ma. they always push that i have to be a success person, but who knows what will we be? i've got drunk until my mind was clear.
i go to my home, and got a little fight with my brother. but i dont know what coming nest because everything being dark.

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i wake up in my bed with a headeach (i think it's because an alcohol), i silence, keep silence.


my pa comes to my room and we've a conversation but i cant absorb anything, i just can get
"just be what you want, i'll always support you"

"thanks pa"

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